It should have been their big break. By all rights, the crown was theirs, won with years of blood, sweat and slime. Maybe, in some far-distant astral plane where justice matters, they’re the rightful victors.

But the history books are closed now. Palaina attenboroughi, the second snail to be named after David Attenborough in 2017, was a murmur that never became a shout.

The fame, the media frenzy, the glamour shots — the spoils of victory are all too obvious. And Attenborougharion rubi